Here I sit on my porch wondering...What have I done? I have never viewed myself and some one who had a hard time with change, I am praised at work for being able to mold myself into whatever category they find necessary to place me in. I do find that I am a person who has moments of indecisiveness, but I didn't think that would translate over into something like moving.
I am moving into a place where the kids now can have their own space, somewhere a little newer, closer to work, somewhere I would feel comfortable having people over. Yet I look at this sunrise, I think of the back yard, my landlords, and I feel like I am moving away from home. In the entire time that I have lived here, this has never felt like "home", it has always felt like I was in a very long layover. I had not felt comfortable. But now as today has found me, I am racked with fear. Not a crippling fear, just one of "will the kids adjust", "will the neighbor above me have heavy feet", "will everything work out how I plan"... and that is where I stop myself and remember that I is not MY plan... it is HIS plan, and I am turning my life over to Him, and that He will provide for me when I see no other way.
I have found my relationship with the Lord again, not that it was ever gone, however it is stronger than before. I rest my worries in his hands, and listen to my heart. For the Lord knows me and my heart, and I should never be in fear.
Jeremiah 29:11-13
"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord.
“They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen.
If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me."
"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord.
“They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen.
If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me."
