Dear Dad

There are far and few days in between the times I sit back and think of you. In your arms I always felt safe, under your care I had no worries. At the time I do not think you realized how much I wanted to feel belonged to, yet you never made me feel out of place. Dad, I love you.

I know I often cried myself to sleep wishing to find out who the man was that helped breath life into my soul, but all the time I did not realize it was you. I do not remember a time before you were there, and forever you will be my Dad.

I know today that you would be proud of me, and praise me for the things I have accomplished, but you should know that with out you, I would not have made it this far. With out our tragedies and short comings, you could not have helped me to become who I am today. And for that I thank you. Although you have been gone for 10 years this July, I have felt you by my side guiding me, reminding me of things I have once forgotten.

There are days when I wait for you to walk through the door, smelling like the restaurant, with the look of exhaustion showing on your face and weighing heavy on your shoulders. Your arms could not stretch wide enough to get us all in them. Remembering you is like a baseball game on a warm summer night, with a hot dog, and ice cream. It's throwing around footballs, and baseballs in the back yard. (I wish I had held onto that glove.) It's driving in the middle of the night to see the Northern Lights, fire works on the roof, and Thanksgiving. Your always here on Thanksgiving, your team is playing on my TV, I have made your stuffed celery, and I can not get enough of the togetherness of that day. You have shown me how valuable family is, and I wish every day that you could see my children smile, but somehow I am sure that you do. I love you and miss you very much.

~*~I carry your heart with me. I carry it in my heart. I am never with out it. where ever I go, you go... Here is the deepest secret nobody knows, here is the root of the root, and the bud of the bud, and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope, or mind can hide, and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart. I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart.~*~

By E.E. Cummings